Response to:Top ten rules in the Quran that oppress and insult women
by Saif min Suyufillah
Here are the top ten rules in the Quran that oppress and insult women.
10. A husband has sex with his wife, as a plow goes into a dirt field.
The Quran in Sura (Chapter) 2:223 says:
Your women are your fields, so go into your fields whichever way you like . . . . (MAS Abdel Haleem, The Qur’an, Oxford UP, 2004)
We should make no mistake about this verse. It includes sexual positions. In a footnote to this verse, Haleem says that Muslims in Medina heard from the Jews that “a child born from a woman approached from behind would have a squint.”
The hadith are the reports of Muhammad’s words and actions outside of the Quran. Two reliable hadith collectors and editors are Bukhari (d. 870), Muslim (d. 875). After the Quran, the hadith come second in importance and sacredness among the vast majority of Muslims around the world.
We should have no doubt that the husband controlled their sex life. If a woman does not want to have sex, then angels curse her.
. . . “If a man invites his wife to sleep with him and she refuses to come to him, then the angels send their curses on her till morning.” (Bukhari)
I find the verse very lovely.
A garden is full of flowers and fragrances or at least the fruitful plants.
You take care of your garden,
You want it to flourish,you want to beautify it.
You protect your garden from all evils and the intesities of weather which could harm it anyway.
Most importantly,you sow the seeds and take care of the little plant,and have the strong fruitful tree in some years,beneficial to you.
Try to feel the similarities between this example and the case of your wife who would constantly need your attention,your time,your concern,your care and your love.
Regarding the hadees,it is not specified for sex alone.It is simply your mentality.
The hadees only emphasizes on the importance of the bond between husband and wife,the importance of their relationship.The wives usually don’t understand the feelings of their husbands,so they should take care.
Similarly,there is a hadees to treat the wives nicely,to feed them whenever you eat and to clothe them.There is a hadees whereby the best character of a man is said to be judged by being best to the wives
9. Husbands are a degree above their wives.
The Quran in Sura 2:228 says:
. . . Wives have the same rights as the husbands have on them in accordance with the generally known principles. Of course, men are a degree above them in status . . . (Sayyid Abul A’La Maududi, The Meaning of the Qur’an, vol. 1, p. 165)
Being degree above means to be given the responsibility,just as the parents are degree above their children.
It doesn’t make the children inferior or intended for their insult.
Gender inequality shows up in a theological context. This hadith shows that the majority of the inhabitants of hell are women.
The Prophet said, “I looked at Paradise and found poor people forming the majority of its inhabitants; and I looked at Hell and saw that the majority of its inhabitants were women.” (Bukhari)
This parallel hadith explains that the majority of the inhabitants of hell are women because they are ungrateful and harsh towards their husbands. There is no word about the husbands’ ingratitude and harshness. It should be noted that some Muslim missionaries and polemicists assert that since women make up the majority of the world, it only stands to reason that they would be the majority in hell. In reply, however, this misses the point—and may miss the possibility that women may be more spiritual than men. Regardless, the reason that women make up the majority in hell is their harshness and ingratitude. So it has nothing to do with a mathematical majority. Islam clearly does not honor women.
The women would outnumber the men because simply here in this world,they outnumber the men.See the sex ratio.
Regarding being ungrateful,it is mentioned because they should work out on it.It is a fact that they do generalize so they should be careful while saying such terms when they are angry.
I heard the Prophet saying. “Evil omen is in three things: The horse, the woman and the house.” (Bukhari)
First of all,there is no evil omen at all.The hadees is all about IF there could be any.
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said “If there is any evil omen in anything, then it is in the woman, the horse and the house.”(Sahih Bukhari 2859)
Evil omen because they are that beautified in the eyes of people,that people do not care for right or wrong.Allah knows better.
See the verse 3:14
Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire – of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.(3:14)
8. A male gets a double share of the inheritance over that of a female.
The Quran in Sura 4:11 says:
The share of the male shall be twice that of a female . . . . (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 311)
Malik (d. 795) is a founder of a major school of law. He composed a law book that is also considered a collection of reliable hadith: Al-Muwatta of Imam Malik ibn Anas: The First Formation of Islamic Law (rev. trans. Aisha Bewley, Inverness, Scotland: Madina Press, 1989, 2001). Malik writes:
The generally agreed upon way of doing things among us . . . about fixed shares of inheritance (fara’id) of children from the mother or father when one or the other dies is that if they leave male and female children, the male takes the portion of two females.
This Islamic law is regressive. But in the US, for example, the inheritance is divided equally among all siblings, regardless of the gender. No religious law prohibits this from happening in advance. So American secular law fits into a modern context better, where women have more economic opportunities and freedom.
Whatever the female gets,its 100% for her alone.Whatever the male gets,he is made responsible for the finance of his family.He would get a share of it in the end,not the whole amount.
7. A woman’s testimony counts half of a man’s testimony.
The Quran in Sura 2:282 says:
And let two men from among you bear witness to all such documents [contracts of loans without interest]. But if two men be not available, there should be one man and two women to bear witness so that if one of the women forgets (anything), the other may remind her. (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 205).
This hadith removes any ambiguity about women’s abilities in Sura 2:282:
The Prophet said, “Isn’t the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?” The women said, “Yes.” He said, “This is because of the deficiency of a woman’s mind.” (Bukhari, emphasis added)
Testimony is half in matters of finance,not everywhere.
Testimony is same in many cases such as for making shahadah or when there is liaan,or accusation of cheating.See 24:6-9
And those who accuse their wives [of adultery] and have no witnesses except themselves – then the witness of one of them [shall be] four testimonies [swearing] by Allah that indeed, he is of the truthful.
And the fifth [oath will be] that the curse of Allah be upon him if he should be among the liars.
But it will prevent punishment from her if she gives four testimonies [swearing] by Allah that indeed, he is of the liars.
And the fifth [oath will be] that the wrath of Allah be upon her if he was of the truthful.(24:6-9)
6. A wife may remarry her ex-husband if and only if she marries another man, they have sex, and then this second man divorces her.
The Quran in Sura 2:230 says:
And if the husband divorces his wife (for the third time), she shall not remain his lawful wife after this (absolute) divorce, unless she marries another husband and the second husband divorces her. (In that case) there is no harm if they [the first couple] remarry . . . . (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 165)
The finally and absolutely divorced couple is not permitted to remarry each other unless she marries another man, they have sex, and he divorces her. Sura 2:230 engenders a divorce on the road to a possible reconciliation. Why should it be necessary to have the intervening steps of a second marriage and divorce before the first couple can work out their differences and get back together?
To see this tragedy in real life, go to this question and answer at a traditional Muslim fatwa website. Apparently, a Muslim husband pronounced divorce three times, the divorce is final, and now he regrets his decision made in haste and anger. The cleric or scholar says that they are allowed to reconcile only if she follows the Quranic steps of her marrying someone else, consummating that marriage, and then his divorcing her. However, Islam should allow this original divorced couple to reunite without the intervening steps or without aCrin analysis of different levels of anger (click on the link). Let them reconcile—period.
For the next time,the husband would be very cautious while he is angry.
This is all to discourage divorce in practice.
5. Slave-girls are sexual property for their male owners.
The Quran in Sura 4:24 says:
And forbidden to you are wedded wives of other people except those who have fallen in your hands (as prisoners of war) . . . (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 319).
Sayyid Maududi (d. 1979), a highly respected traditional commentator and scholar, says in his comment on the verse that is it lawful for Muslim holy warriors to marry women prisoners of war even when their husbands are still alive. But what happens if the husbands are captured with their wives? Maududi cites a school of law that says Muslims may not marry them, but two other schools say that the marriage between the captive husbands and wives is broken (note 44). But why would a debate over this cruelty emerge in the first place? No sex or marriage should take place between married female prisoners of war and their captors. In fact, no sex should take place between women captives and their Muslim overlords. But Islam traffics in injustice too often.
Islam allows deep immorality with women who are in their most helpless condition. This crime is reprehensible, but Allah wills it nonetheless—the Quran says so.
For more information on this Quran-inspired immorality, see this short article.
See also Suras 4:3; 23:5-6; 33:50; 70:22-30, all of which permit male slave-owners to have sex with their slave-girls. Suras 23:5-6 and 70:22-230 allow men to have sex with them in the Meccan period, during times of peace before Muhammad initiated his skirmishes and wars while being based in Medina.
The hadith demonstrate that Muslim jihadists actually have sex with the captured women, whether or not they are married. In the following hadith passage, Khumus is one-fifth of the spoils of war.
Ali, Muhammad’s cousin and son-in-law, just finished a relaxing bath. Why?
The Prophet sent Ali to Khalid to bring the Khumus (of the booty) and . . . Ali had taken a bath (after a sexual act with a slave-girl from the Khumus).
What was Muhammad’s response to the person who hated Ali for this sexual act?
Do you hate Ali for this? . . . Don’t hate him, for he deserves more than that from [the] Khumus. (Bukhari)
This hadith shows that Muhammad was intimate with his slave-girls.
Moreover, jihadists may not practice coitus interruptus with the women they capture, but not for the reason that the reader may expect. While on a military campaign and away from their wives, Muslim jihadists “received captives from among the Arab captives and we desired women and celibacy became hard on us and we loved to do coitus interruptus.” They asked the prophet about this, and it is important to note what he did not say. He did not scold them or prohibit any kind of sex whatsoever. Rather, he invokes the murky, quirky doctrine of fate:
These are those women who were present at the time of war with their men,not those peaceful innocent females who were left at homes.
They must be dividing the spoils they took: there must be a damsel or two for each man, Spoils of dyed cloth as Sisera’s spoil, an ornate shawl or two for me in the spoil. (Judges 5:30 NAB)
Lo, a day shall come for the Lord when the spoils shall be divided in your midst. And I will gather all the nations against Jerusalem for battle: the city shall be taken, houses plundered, women ravished; half of the city shall go into exile, but the rest of the people shall not be removed from the city. (Zechariah 14:1-2 NAB)
4. A man may be polygamous with up to four wives.
The Quran in Sura 4:3 says:
And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justice to the orphans, you may marry two or three or four women whom you choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them, then marry only one wife, or marry those who have fallen in your possession. (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 305)
The clause “marry those who have fallen in your possession” means slave-girls who were captured after a war. Men may “marry” them because slaves do not incur very much expense, not as much as free women do. This means that the limit on four wives is artificial. Men could have sex with as many slave-girls as they wanted.
Maududi paraphrases the verse: “If you need more than one [wife] but are afraid that you might not be able to do justice to your wives from among the free people, you may turn to slave girls because in that case you will be burdened with less responsibilities” (note 6) (See Sura 4:24).
However, Muhammad would not allow polygamy for his son-in-law Ali, because an extra wife would hurt Muhammad’s first daughter Fatima, by his first wife Khadija. Fatima was married to Ali.
I heard Allah’s Apostle who was on the pulpit, saying, “Banu Hisham bin Al-Mughira have requested me to allow them to marry their daughter to Ali bin Abu Talib, but I don’t give permission, and will not give permission unless ‘Ali bin Abi Talib divorces my daughter in order to marry their daughter, because Fatima is a part of my body, and I hate what she hates to see, and what hurts her, hurts me.” (Bukhari)
Despite the fact that Muhammad is very much aware that polygamy is hurtful and insulting to women, he still practices it himself and allows it for his followers in general.
May marry,yes it depends upon your choice if you could be just towards all of them and there is no trial for any of your wives.
Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.w did not allow his son in law because it could be a trial for the wife.
‘Ali b. Husain reported that Miswar b. Makhramah informed him that ‘Ali b. Abi Talib sent the proposal of marriage to the daughter of Abu Jahl as he had Fatima, the daughter of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ), (as his wife). When Fatima heard about it, she came to Allah’s Apostle (ﷺ) and said:
The people say that you never feel angry on account of your daughters and now ‘Ali is going to marry the daughter of Abu Jahl. Makhramah said: Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) rose up and I heard him reciting Tashahhud and say: Now to the point. I gave a daughter of mine (Zainab) to Abu’l-‘As b. Rabi, and he spoke to me and spoke the truth. Verily Fatima, the daughter of Muhammad, is a part of me and I do not approve that she may be put to any trial and by Allah, the daughter of Allah’s Messenger cannot be combined with the daughter of God’s enemy (as the co-wives) of one person. Thereupon ‘Ali gave up (the idea of his intended) marriage.(Sahih Muslim 2449 d)
Muhammad’s “special” marriage privileges
Moreover, it seems that Allah gave Muhammad special permission to marry as many women as he desired or take them as slaves or concubines, just as in the pre-Islamic days of “ignorance.”
The Quran in Sura 33:50, a lengthy verse, grants Muhammad wide latitude in his marriages:
O Prophet, We have made lawful to you those of your wives, whose dowers you have paid, and those women who come into your possession out of the slave-girls granted by Allah, and the daughters of your paternal uncles and aunts, and of your maternal uncles and aunts, who have migrated with you, and the believing woman who gives herself to the Prophet, if the Prophet may desire her. This privilege is for you only, not for the other believers . . . . (Maududi vol. 4, p. 111, emphasis added).
This verse says that besides those women whose dower Muhammad paid, he may marry slave-girls—that is, he may have sex with them (see this article for this Quran-inspired immorality). Maududi references three slave-girls taken during raids, and Mary the Copt, a gift from an Egyptian ruler. Muhammad had sex with her, and there does not seem to be a political need for this. Second, Muhammad may marry his first cousins, and Maududi cites a case in which this happened. Third, if a believing woman offers herself to Muhammad, and he desires her, then he may marry her (Maududi vol. 4, note 88).
This hadith shows that Muhammad was intimate with his slave-girls.
There were several reasons for these marriages.
- Helping out the widows.
- Creating family bonds between him and his companions.
- Uniting different clans.
- Increasing credibility and sources for conveying his private family life. If he only had one wife, then it would have been a tremendous responsibility on her to convey Muhammad’s private acts of worship and family life, and people would try to discredit her to destroy the credibility of these practices. However, with multiple wives, there were a lot more sources to the knowledge, making it more difficult to discredit. Therefore, his marriages gave more women the opportunity to learn and teach the matters of his private life.
- To break the conventions.
- To show the possibilities of marriages in different cases
But the capstone of these “special” marriages occurs when Muhammad also marries the ex-wife (Zainab) of his adopted son (Zaid). His son-in-law divorced her with the prophet standing in the background. In fact, early Islamic sources say that Muhammad catches a glimpse of his daughter-in-law in a state of undress, so he desired her. Once the divorce is final, Allah reveals to him that this marriage between father-in-law and daughter-in-law is legal and moral in Sura 33:36-44.
Tabari is an unauthentic source.
Secondly,there is a vast difference between undressed and unveiled.
Pervert people of your mentality would find every word as undressed,naked etc.
3. A Muslim polygamist may simply get rid of one of his undesirable wives.
The Quran in Sura 4:129 says:
It is not within your power to be perfectly equitable in your treatment with all your wives, even if you wish to be so; therefore, (in order to satisfy the dictates of Divine Law) do not lean towards one wife so as to leave the other in a state of suspense. (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 381)
Maududi provides an interpretation of the verse (vol. 1, pp. 383-84, note 161). He writes:
Allah made it clear that the husband cannot literally keep equality between two or more wives because they themselves cannot be equal in all respects. It is too much to demand from a husband that he should mete out equal treatment to a beautiful wife and to an ugly wife, to a young wife and to an old wife, to a healthy wife and to an invalid wife, and to a good natured wife and to an ill-natured wife. These and like things naturally make a husband more inclined towards one wife than towards the other.
This means that wives are the source of a man’s inability to treat all of them equally. One is beautiful, while another is ugly. How can Allah demand from a husband super-human strength under changing circumstances in his wives?
In such cases, the Islamic law does not demand equal treatment between them in affection and love. What it does demand is that a wife should not be neglected as to be practically reduced to the position of the woman who has no husband at all. If the husband does not divorce her for any reason or at her own request, she should at least be treated as a wife. It is true that under such circumstances the husband is naturally inclined towards a favorite wife, but he should not, so to say, keep the other in such a state of suspense as if she were not his wife.
Maududi says here that the wife should not be suspended between marriage and divorce. If the husband stays with the no-longer desirable wife, then he should treat her fairly and provide for her.
Where may Maududi get his idea about keeping or divorcing an unattractive wife?
2. Husbands may hit their wives even if the husbands merely fear highhandedness in their wives (quite apart from whether they actually are highhanded—as if domestic violence in any form is acceptable).
The Quran in Sura 4:34 says:
4:34 . . . If you fear highhandedness from your wives, remind them [of the teaching of God], then ignore them when you go to bed, then hit them. If they obey you, you have no right to act against them. God is most high and great. (Haleem, emphasis added)
The hadith says that Muslim women in the time of Muhammad were suffering from domestic violence in the context of confusing marriage laws:
Rifa’a divorced his wife whereupon ‘AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. ‘Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah’s Apostle came, ‘Aisha said, “I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!” (Bukhari, emphasis added)
This hadith shows Muhammad hitting his girl-bride, Aisha, daughter of Abu Bakr, his right-hand Companion:
“He [Muhammad] struck me [Aisha] on the chest which caused me pain.” (Muslim no. 2127)
Beating was forbidden in the last sermon except for one case.
It was narrated that: Sulaiman bin Amr bin Ahwas said: “My father told me that he was present on the Farewell pilgrimage with the Messenger of Allah. He praised and glorified Allah, and reminder and exhorted (the people). Then he said: ‘I enjoin good treatment of women, for they are prisoners with you, and you have no right to treat them otherwise, unless they commit clear indecency (fahishatim mubayyinah -clear act of obscenity). If they do that, then forsake them in their beds and hit them, but without causing injury or leaving a mark if they obey you, then do not seek means of annoyance against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they are not to allow anyone whom you dislike on treat on your bedding (furniture), not allow anyone whom you dislike to enter your houses. And their right over you are that should treat them kindly with regard to their clothing and food. (Sahih Hadiith) Ibn Majah 3:9:1851
1. Mature men are allowed to marry prepubescent girls.
The Quran in Sura 65:1, 4 says:
65:1 O Prophet, when you (and the believers) divorce women, divorce them for their prescribed waiting-period and count the waiting-period accurately . . . 4 And if you are in doubt about those of your women who have despaired of menstruation, (you should know that) their waiting period is three months, and the same applies to those who have not menstruated as yet. As for pregnant women, their period ends when they have delivered their burden. (Maududi, vol. 5, pp. 599 and 617, emphasis added)
Maududi correctly interprets the plain meaning of verse 4, which appears in the context of divorce:
Therefore, making mention of the waiting-period for girls who have not yet menstruated, clearly proves that it is not only permissible to give away the girl at this age but it is permissible for the husband to consummate marriage with her. Now, obviously no Muslim has the right to forbid a thing which the Qur’an has held as permissible. (Maududi, vol. 5, p. 620, note 13, emphasis added)
Why should this surprise us? After all, Muhammad was betrothed to Aisha when she was six, and he consummated their union when she was only nine.
The hadith says:
. . . [T]hen he [Muhammad] wrote the marriage (wedding) contract with Aishah when she was a girl of six years of age, and he consumed [sic, consummated] that marriage when she was nine years old. (Bukhari; )
This hadith demonstrates that Muhammad pursued Aisha when she was a little girl.
The Prophet asked Abu Bakr for ‘Aisha’s hand in marriage. Abu Bakr said “But I am your brother.” The Prophet said, “You are my brother in Allah’s religion and His Book, but she (Aisha) is lawful for me to marry.” (Bukhari; see this hadith that shows Muhammad’s dream life in regard to his pursuit of little Aisha, and this one and this one. These last three links contrast with Muhammad’s pursuit of Aisha through her father Abu Bakr. Apparently Muhammad did not wait for Allah to fulfill his desire for a six year old, but took matters in his own hands.
This hadith recounts the fifty-plus-year-old Muhammad’s and the nine-year-old Aisha’s first sexual encounter. She was playing on her swing set with her girlfriends when she got the call.
. . . [M]y mother, Um Ruman, came to me while I was playing in a swing with some of my girl friends. She called me, and I went to her, not knowing what she wanted to do to me. She caught me by the hand and made me stand at the door of the house. I was breathless then, and when my breathing became all right, she took some water and rubbed my face and head with it. Then she took me into the house. There in the house I saw some Ansari women who said, “Best wishes and Allah’s Blessing and a good luck.” Then she entrusted me to them and they prepared me (for the marriage). Unexpectedly Allah’s Apostle came to me in the forenoon and my mother handed me over to him, and at that time I was a girl of nine years of age. (Bukhari; see a parallel hadith here)
This hadith describes Muhammad counseling a Muslim man to marry a young virgin for the extra thrill it gives him to fondle her, and she him.
When I got married, Allah’s Apostle said to me, “What type of lady have you married?” I replied, “I have married a matron.” He said, “Why, don’t you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?” Jabir also said: Allah’s Apostle said, “Why didn’t you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?” (Bukhari) See parallel hadith here and here.
This hadith describes Muhammad’s and Aisha’s ill-timed sexual encounters:
The Prophet and I used to take a bath from a single pot while we were Junub. During the menses, he used to order me to put on an Izar (dress worn below the waist) and used to fondle me. While in Itikaf, he used to bring his head near me and I would wash it while I used to be in my periods (menses). (Bukhari)
Young girls are never despaired of menses,rather they are expecting it.
Ayesha r.a herself told that when a girl is nine years old,she Is a woman (woman is definitely an adult person).
Secondly,when a girl is menstruating,she is no more a child,rather a woman.
It could never be child marriage because it is all normal for every doctor or endocrinologist to see a girl of nine reaching puberty.
The abnormal case is when she attains puberty at age below 8 years.
Those who not menstruate.(Tense Mudari’ Present+Future)
a.It is for those who do not menstruate now.
b.It is also for those who will not menstruate later on.
If you note it,there is no indication of past menstruation, and the case of postmenopausal women is already discussed in the first part of this verse,`
So the verse is for those who have once menstruated in the past and now they do not menstruate i.e those having secondary amenorrhea and also for those who are above 13-16 years and yet they have not attained menarche.In both the cases,there is indication that they will not menstruate in the future as well if not treated.